Adventures in CzEnglish V

As every Czech person knows, CzEnglish is that distinctive, unique form of English which every Czech person automatically speaks and "psychically" understands, regardless of their level of sophistication or fluency in English.

Episode V: Another real adventure which took place in CzEnglish | foto: Profimedia.cz

CzEnglish and English, while distant cousins, are distinctly different beasts. English, unlike its distant Celtic ancestor CzEnglish, is understood by most people on this planet.

CzEnglish, on the other hand, is understood only by Czechs, and is not truly appreciated for its uniqueness, especially by salesmen.

A shopping adventure
It’s always an adventure whenever I’m with Czech supermodel Miss Martina Tycocva, who of course speaks fluent CzEnglish. Not only does the unexpected always happen, but it is "when the fun begins."

In this case, we were looking for a new hard drive to go with the new Web site we are designing for readers of Metropolitni Expres.

Knowing that Martina’s father is in the PC business, I asked her to call him and see what kind of drive he recommended. Martina did so, and promptly got the information.

Martina is not a person who likes to dilly-dally on the telephone. She doesn’t enjoy helping make phone companies rich either, and prefers either "yes" or "no" answers.

She’s right, communications are always much easier between people when one party makes a point to force them to be binary in nature such as: yes or no, right or left, stop or go, up or down, etc.

When Martina telephoned the computer store, she reached a salesman who had "all day" to talk.

She was not amused.

Part II tomorrow.

. Joke of the Day: Imagine If...

Imagine for a moment that Microsoft made not only the car that you own, but that they had 90% of the automobile market.

If this ever becomes a reality, since Bill Gates can just buy everyone’s car anytime he wants to, here’s undoubtedly what would happen:

1. While driving, your car would just freeze for nothing one day, and stop working for reasons even Microsoft doesn’t know! 2. You would have to press the start button to stop your car.

3. Consumers would have to buy a new car each time the city decided to paint new lines on the road.

4. You would be driving along on the road and suddenly be visited by the Blue Screen of Death.

Angličtina vychází od pondělí do pátku.

Najdete ji také v bezplatném deníku Metropolitní expres.

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