Adventures in CzEnglish 5

I’ll never forget the time when I was walking around Prague and asked two Czech men where I might find a nice, "quiet pub or club" to go sit down and relax, so that I could do some writing on one of my books.

Here’s another true story from the National CzEnglish Archives

While it might seem strange to go to a pub to do writing, I like observing people, especially since I’m a foreigner in this country and I always learn new things.

"Just go up Štepanská, it is off to the right," the men replied.

These two guys were friendly, smiled a lot, were very polite, and immaculately groomed. They were also in very good shape, muscular even, and I remember thinking "Boy, they won’t have any ‘problems’ meeting women tonight."

Great "advice"
After walking up Štepanská, a street I was familiar with because I was already working at The Prague Post back then as its Chief Information Officer and Chief Technical Officer, as well as being their Columnist writing Kal’s Korner.

After a few minutes walking, I found the "pub" these men had recommended. It was located on a side street, one could walk right by it if one didn’t pay careful attention.

Something’s "wrong"
Arriving at this pub’s front door, I grabbed the handle and tried to pull the door open, but it was locked.

Looking around, I noticed there was a buzzer. I thought this was a bit unusual, since most pubs are open so that anyone can walk right in.

After pressing the button, a voice came over the speakerphone and asked me what I wanted.

I replied, "I want to come inside to drink a few beers."

After a brief moment, a buzzing noise sounded, it was the electronic lock releasing the door.

Pulling it open, I took a step inside. I noticed that this door was made of solid metal, and was very hard. It seemed to me as if it were even bulletproof, which made me uneasy.

What was this "pub," an armed drinking place for gangsters?

After entering, I found myself not only in a dark room, but actually now inside a steel cage! I was stuck, trapped, and the door had closed behind me. Not only did someone need to buzz you to get in, but they also had to buzz you to get out.

Now I was stuck in this cage, and no one was around!

(Part II tomorrow)

. More Leonardo da CzEnglish WhizDumb

1. "In order to save the whales, you must first collect the whole set." 2. "Another way to describe Evolution, is true science fiction."

3. "The ONLY way to STOP repeat offenders is to NOT re-elect them to office!"

4. "It’s never hard to meet expenses, since they always exist everywhere you go."

5. "Work is obviously for people who do NOT know how to fish."

6. "Try not to let gravity always get you down."

7. "When taking out a loan, always make sure that you borrow the money from a perennial pessimist. When you never pay it back, you won’t upset anyone."

8. "They told me I was gullible, and I believed them."

Angličtina vychází od pondělí do pátku.

Najdete ji také v bezplatném deníku Metropolitní expres.

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