Ya’ll Know Cowboy English?

Many people in the world today, and this is especially true over here in Europe and even in the Czech Republic, believe that "cowboys" are not very clever or smart. Indeed, most people tend to misunderestimate them.

Václav Klaus in Texas | foto: Petr Pravda, iDNES.cz

Angličtina na iDNES.cz
VŠECHNY LEKCE ZDE

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This is unfortunate, because most Europeans in fact, have never even met a real cowboy, so they don’t really know what cowboys are actually like.

While I am not a cowboy myself, instead I am a "Kalboy," I do wear a genuine Texas Stetson cowboy hat that my friend Bob Heironimus gave me. Heironimus is "the real deal," a genuine real cowboy, and like most cowboys I have ever met he is a completely honest man. My stepfath, Val, is also a cowboy, I honor and love them both.

As we mentioned in an earlier column, Bob Heironimus is also world famous. He played "Bigfoot" (or Yeti) in the historic Roger Patterson/Bob Gimlin Bigfoot hoax film of 1967 and for more than 31 years fooled many scientists. In fact, there are still some scientists like Dr. Jeffrey Meldrum who refuse to admit that this "dumb cowboy" managed to fool them.

Some people actually "believe" that the creature known as "Bigfoot" or Yeti really exists. While this is a distinct minority of individuals and even fewer scientists, "BFers" as they are affectionately known, still defend the Patterson/Gimlin hoax film, despite Bob Heironimus’s thoroughly verified confession.

I wear my cowboy hat in honor of Bob, who gave it to me when I had the incredible opportunity to meet him in person when we were filming a special for National Geographic TV.

I’m amazed that I have the same hat and head size as the world’s one and only living Bigfoot. While Bob may be taller and his feet larger, I guess our brains are the same size.

It was a genuine honor working with Mr. Philip Morris of Morris Costumes, who ironically made the original Patterson/Gimlin "Bigfoot" creature costume, (they sold it to Patterson in 1967 for $400), I became the first and only person to ever film the only successful recreation of this famous hoax movie.

We put Bob back in a new suit. He did the "Bigfoot Walk," and we solved a genuine mystery.

Jokes: Riddles of the Day

1. Q: What do you have when you bury a politician all the way up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

2. Q: What are the four greatest enemies of all Communist agriculture or farming?
A: Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall and Autumn.

3. Q: How many people in U.S. President George W. Bush’s office does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; the conditions for it are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of brightness are the fault of the liberal media, but of course not Fox TV.
This light bulb has served honorably in a righteous crusade.
Why are you even asking this question? Do you hate freedom?

Key Article Words in English

smart =chytrý
misunderestimate = podcenovat
instead = namísto toho
wear = nosit (na sobě)
real deal = původní
fool = zmást
bury = pohřibít
neck = krk
sand = písek
light bulb = žárovka
lack of = nedostatek
brightness = jasnost
fault = chyba

Angličtina vychází od pondělí do pátku.

Najdete ji také v bezplatném deníku Metropolitní expres.

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