True CzEnglish Stories - Part 3

This is the third and final installment of this three part article. As I stood at the bottom of these stairs in what was now a small lobby, I could hear noise in the background, the sound of people drinking, laughing and having a good time.

Part III of another true story from the National CzEnglish Archives | foto: Profimedia.cz

However, standing right in front of me was this huge, bald, muscular guy who made Arnold Schwarzenegger look like tiny by comparison. Standing next to him was probably the skinniest guy on this planet, even his clothes were too big for him.

These two were quite a contrast to each other, I wish I had taken a photo, assuming they would have let me.

While this much bigger dude had a low voice, the very thin man he was with had a high-pitched voice.

WHAT is this place?
As they looked at me, the big, muscular man asked me in Czech what I wanted, or how he could help me.

I stood there and looked back up the stairs at that poster of nude young boys standing in shadow form.

"What is this place?" I asked, not even bothering to explain to them that I do not speak Czech.

At this point the two men looked at each other, bemused. They didn’t expect me to ask them this question.

Then, the big male looked at me and smiled. Once he grinned, his whole demeanor changed.

It turns out that he was quite "friendly" after all.

"This is a GAY club," he said, with emphasis on the word "gay."

There was silence for about 10 seconds or so.

"I think I’m in the wrong place, sorry!" was the only thing I could say.

"Sorry, thank you!" I remarked again, as I turned around and bounded back UP the stairs.

As I reached the top, I heard the buzzer and I quickly went through the door and made it back outside.

Practical joke
Obviously, the two muscular men who were immaculately groomed I had seen earlier who had "recommended" this place, had pulled a joke on me. I admit, it was funny.

After I walked for a few meters back outside in the fresh air, I began laughing.

I never did make it to another "pub" that night, it was hard to top that ironic moment.

I bought a large Pepsi and a few bottles of Staroprammen and went home to continue writing my new trilogy, the three book series called Secret "X" Wars: Defending Against Terrorist Plots, which will be published later this year by Prometheus Books in New York.

I’m glad this ironic episode happened to me before I sat down to write that night and over the weekend. Terrorism is never "fun" to write about, and it was nice to have a light break before plunging into documenting this darker side of human behavior.

. Jokes: MORE "Dumb" Laws

The USA is not the only country with "dumb" laws. Here are some "dumb" statutes in the UK.

1. Mince pies are not allowed to be eaten on Christmas Day.

Comment: What about separation of Church and State and the right to eat what you want?

2. If the head of a whale is found on a beach, it by law becomes the property of the King. The tail becomes the property of the Queen.

Comment: England has no "King," so do they put it in storage until Prince Charles takes the throne, or does the Queen get both?

3. It is against the law in the UK to avoid telling a tax collector information you do NOT want him to know. Conversely, it is legal to tell him info you want him to know.

Comment: My head hurts!

Angličtina vychází od pondělí do pátku.

Najdete ji také v bezplatném deníku Metropolitní expres.

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