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We Did It: Online and Real

Other than a last minute technical glitch popularly known as Murphy’s Law, Kal’s Korner is now online and it is now a new reality-based TV show which broadcasts worldwide on the Internet.

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DownWithKal

"Colonel" Korff's illness

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudologia

0/0
18.3.2008 20:24

zenatycizinec

Ka'ls Greatest Hits (PLEASE MAKE HIM STOP!!!)

Page 9 http://data.zpravy.cz/expres/pdf/20080317.pdf

0/0
18.3.2008 13:02

zenatycizinec

Re: Ka'ls Greatest Hits (PLEASE MAKE HIM STOP!!!)

"Whenever there is more than one of something, remember that it must be plural, and not singular."

0/0
18.3.2008 13:03

zenatycizinec

Re: Re: Ka'ls Greatest Hits (PLEASE MAKE HIM STOP!!!)

You know, Kal, if there was only one piece of advice I could give my son, this would be it.  You are a true philisopher.

0/0
18.3.2008 13:04

DownWithKal

More Kal's Greatest Hits

http://zpravy.idnes.cz/explaining-u-s-justice-1-0vx-/anglictina.asp?c=A080307_112120_anglictina_bar

Kurtis Korff, age 39, was in a car which was being driven by several men.

---"driven by several men"??!!! The care was being driven BY SEVERAL MEN?? All at the same time???

0/0
14.3.2008 17:18

DownWithKal

Re: More Kal's Greatest Hits

Ironically, in a few moments, he would get shot by police in this

car he was merely a passenger in, who didn’t even know who he was.

---so the car didn't know who he was? HUH??? How can a car "know" anything?

0/0
14.3.2008 17:19

DownWithKal

Re: Re: More Kal's Greatest Hits

"hit him physically."

---Is it possible to hit anyone non-physically?

0/0
14.3.2008 17:20

DownWithKal

Re: Re: Re: More Kal's Greatest Hits

"....the police responded as they rightfully should."

----Either say "the police rightfully responded" or "the police responded, as

they should." But "rightfully responded" is - as the "Colonel" would say - a

"superfluous redundancy".

0/0
14.3.2008 17:20

DownWithKal

Re: Re: Re: Re: More Kal's Greatest Hits

"To help insure public safety..."

---the word is "ENsure", you cretin. How many times do we need to tell

you?

0/0
14.3.2008 17:21

DownWithKal

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: More Kal's Greatest Hits

Pardon - chtel jsem rict, ze psat "RIGHTFULLY responded AS THEY SHOULD" je

redundancy...

0/0
14.3.2008 17:22

KalsKrap

Kal's Greatest Hits (continued)

English tends to be more of a literal language - at least as far as its logic is concerned.

---"literal language". What a load of pseudo-scientific bollocks.

0/0
14.3.2008 16:47

KalsKrap

Re: Kal's Greatest Hits (continued)

For example, in English you cannot be "mad on someone" - instead, you must be or can be "mad AT someone."

---Garbage. “I'm mad on the Beatles.” “I'm mad on Petra Nemcova.”

0/0
14.3.2008 16:48

KalsKrap

Re: Re: Kal's Greatest Hits (continued)

English also MUST make use of articles before words

---Rubbish. The reason why slavic languages no longer have articles is because the meaning is almost always perfectly clear - even without them – from the context. English is likewise usually perfectly comprehensible without them. In parts of Yorkshire, especially among older people, they are are almost absent from everyday speech.

0/0
14.3.2008 16:49

KalsKrap

Re: Re: Re: Kal's Greatest Hits (continued)

 This is both figuratively and literally true. In the real world of physics, it is not possible to be "mad ON someone" because nature does not work this way.---What has physics got to do with it, you retard?

0/0
14.3.2008 16:50

KalsKrap

Re: Re: Re: Re: Kal's Greatest Hits (continued)

I LOATHE you, "Colonel". You are a disgrace - to your country and to the imbeciles who continue to employ you. Ostuda. Hanba.

0/0
14.3.2008 16:51

KalsKrap

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Kal's Greatest Hits (continued)

Sorry - the above quotes can be found at: 

http://zpravy.idnes.cz/thoughts-about-english-0vd-/anglictina.asp?c=A070615_081759_studium_bar

0/0
14.3.2008 16:52

KalsKrap

More krap from the archive

http://zpravy.idnes.cz/power-point-power-phrases-part-3-da4-/anglictina.asp?c=A080305_131050_anglictina_bar

0/0
7.3.2008 18:26

KalsKrap

Re: More krap from the archive

"...PDFs rules, unless you want ta use

Apple’s QuickTime for Adobe’s Flash for animations."

---Kdyz clovek pise, ze neco "rules", to znamena, ze to neco je bajecne. So this should be either "PDFs rule" or

"PDF rules" - but not "PDFs rules".

0/0
7.3.2008 18:29

KalsKrap

Re: Re: More krap from the archive

.....mp3 files literally rock...

---no, "Colonel" - they do

not "literally" rock. Why do you keep misusing this word?

0/0
7.3.2008 18:29

KalsKrap

Re: Re: Re: More krap from the archive

When your putting text into a Power

Point presentation, make your text get to its point.

---"you're", not "your".

0/0
7.3.2008 18:30

KalsKrap

Re: Re: Re: Re: More krap from the archive

...this led to the development of

different languages including Czech!

---you need a comma after

"languages" (or you could even use a hyphen). You

really don't understand commas, do you? 

0/0
7.3.2008 18:31

KalsKrap

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: More krap from the archive

MPEG files also rock, while .mp3

files literally rock, but they also roll, do jazz, opera, or anything

audio wise.

---"audio-wise", not "audio

wise".

0/0
7.3.2008 18:35

KalsKrap

Kal's Greatest Hits, volume ???

http://zpravy.idnes.cz/explaining-u-s-justice-1-0vx-/anglictina.asp?c=A080307_112120_anglictina_bar

0/0
7.3.2008 18:21

KalsKrap

Re: Kal's Greatest Hits, volume ???

Ironically, in a few moments, he

would get shot by police in this car he was merely a passenger in, who

didn’t even know who he was.

---so the car didn't know who he was?

HUH???

0/0
7.3.2008 18:22

KalsKrap

Re: Re: Kal's Greatest Hits, volume ???

"...hit him physically."

---Is it possible to hit anyone NON-physically, "Colonel"?

0/0
7.3.2008 18:22

KalsKrap

Re: Re: Re: Kal's Greatest Hits, volume ???

"....the police responded as

they rightfully should." ---Either say "the police

rightfully responded" or "the police responded, as they

should." But "rightfully responded...as they should"

is redundant.

0/0
7.3.2008 18:23

KalsKrap

Re: Re: Re: Re: Kal's Greatest Hits, volume ???

"To help insure public

safety..."

---the word is "ENsure",

you cretin. How many times do we need to tell you?

0/0
7.3.2008 18:24

DownWithKal

Mad, mad, mad...

http://www.ufowatchdog.com/komments.html

0/0
4.3.2008 18:51

Stiller

Pokud je Korff v Cesku osm let a jeste neumi cesky

dokazuje, to jaky je typicky omezeny American. To je hlavni rozdil mezi Anglicany a Americany. Britove se vzdy usadi v cizine a plne se integruji, nauci se cizi jazyk. Take proto diky tomu ovladli dost velkou cast sveta. Britove se umeji dobre prizpusobit. Americane mohou byt v cizine treba dvacet let a stale neumi jazyk zeme, kde ziji.

0/0
23.2.2008 7:57

zenatycizinec

More bullshit

 http://data.zpravy.cz/expres/pdf/20080218.pdf - page 16):

"The reason I do not speak much Czech, although I understand it

better than I usually let on, is because I have not taken the time YET

to learn it. I took seven foreign languages in high school, essentially everything

west of here. 

0/0
22.2.2008 23:21

zenatycizinec

Re: More bullshit

"Learning other languages is not hard for me. I love doing

so in fact."

---So you've lived here for 8 years, you learn languages easily, yet you STILL DON'T SPEAK CZECH??!!!!

0/0
22.2.2008 23:23

zenatycizinec

Re: Re: More bullshit

The vocabulary list at the bottom of the page translates "to let on" here as "připouštět".

He also translates "per se" as "so to speak" ("tak se rika").

0/0
22.2.2008 23:25

Wendolene

Re: More bullshit

We all know the way some Americans  learn a lot of foreign languages in High School.  Yet they barely put together a sentence. It is a joke. After eight years not speaking the language, that is typical. Look at all the army personnel stationed all over the world. They can spend 20 years in Germany and do they speak German? No, they do not. Not a single sentence.

0/0
23.2.2008 0:00

_verdi_

Re: Re: More bullshit

WOW you are the smartest R^

0/0
23.2.2008 0:04

Dally

More utter nonsense

http://data.zpravy.cz/expres/pdf/20080108.pdf

It is this swing vote which holds

the very real possibility that it could

determine the results of this election.

0/0
20.2.2008 17:41

KalsKrap

Re: More utter nonsense

Huh? Sorry - this is too profound for me, Kal...

0/0
5.3.2008 17:05

Dally

Our fearless Kaptain!

http://data.zpravy.cz/expres/pdf/20071107.pdf):

I was invited to participate in an undercover operation, which I had the honor of planning, and it required that I shave my head to alter my appearance. As many people know, I hold the rank of a Colonel in one of my other “lives,” so we quickly flew to the areas of interest, executed our operation, and then returned back to Prague. When I was asked to command this operation, I imposed one condition: I insisted that my impending buzz cut be filmed and turned into a lesson in English so that we could use it for Metropolitni Expres.

0/0
20.2.2008 17:40

captain cook

Re: Our fearless Kaptain!

nevim, nevim...zda se mi, ze existuji dve moznosti ja interpretovat tyto nesmysly, tedy pribehy hrdineho kapitana Korkorana....pardon Korffa...

jedna je brat to vazne, druha je T-I-C;-)

0/0
21.2.2008 16:06

Dally

Needless, superfluous redundancy

http://zpravy.idnes.cz/avoiding-superfluousness-part-1-daq-/anglictina.asp?c=A071219_083136_anglictina_bar

"Many people will use the phrase 'he in fact said.' ... While this is certainly legally and scientifically true, it is also superfluous, because it is needlessly redundant."

He goes on:

"Another common needless redundancy people make in English is when they use the term 'very first.'"

0/0
20.2.2008 17:38

Dally

Re: Needless, superfluous redundancy

Kal - "needless" is another way of saying "redundant" is another way of saying "superfluous"

So what a "needless redundancy" is I've no idea. In fact, I'd say the word "needless" here is superfluous!

0/0
20.2.2008 17:40

Dally

More of Kal's fantasies

Všechna následující absurdní tvrzení se objevila na Kalově webu (kalkorff.com), jen aby byla vymazána vzápětí po té, co sklidila zasloužený celosvětový posměch:

0/0
20.2.2008 17:33

Dally

Re: More of Kal's fantasies

Kal in his Special Secret Services uniform:

http://kevinrandle.blogspot.com/200...ikes-again.html

0/0
20.2.2008 17:35

Dally

Re: Re: More of Kal's fantasies

"CriticalThinkers.org announced today that its President and CEO, Colonel Kal Korff, has been invited to participate in an upcoming panel of experts by the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) concerning the proposed Missile Defense Shield which is being planned for the countries of Poland and the Czech Republic. After finishing a counter-terrorism raid which netted some al-Quaeda connected suspects, Colonel Korff just recently returned from Oregon where he went undercover, first by shaving his head completely bald, and then by meeting with various lawyers, Federal officials, and key members of the media."

0/0
20.2.2008 17:35

Dally

Re: Re: Re: More of Kal's fantasies

Colonel Kal Korff has been chosen to be the Host and official spokesman for a series of upcoming spots on Missile Defense technologies and the proposed Missile Defense Systems which are being constructed as part of a global, international effort. Korff was tapped for this high visibility project because he is a popular media figure, has longstanding expertise on the subject dating back to his tenure at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, and is a polarizing figure on many popular issues. Kal Korff has agreed to do all of the public service announcements for free, in the spirit of true public service.

0/0
20.2.2008 17:36

Dally

Re: Re: Re: Re: More of Kal's fantasies

"Since I certainly DO have the right background to talk about Missile Defense, we filmed these interviews (even the BBC

one) and they’ll be on TV soon. Because this polarized certain people, who in reality have an “agenda” (although they deny it), I have now been asked to record some Public Service Announcements on this subject. I’m truly honored and humbled by all of this. These spots will be educational, and neutral.”

0/0
20.2.2008 17:37

Dally

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: More of Kal's fantasies

Recently, the reality-based TV show "Big Brother 8" featured a segment where a Las Vegas waitress named Amber Tomcavage expressed her open hatred for Jews.

It is very unfortunate, and illegal actually, for the producers of this show to provide a platform which furthers and fuels such religious and racial hatred and intolerance.

Accordingly, CriticalThinkers is now taking "appropriate steps" to help insure form;sic] that such behaviour is NOT allowed to stand.

0/0
20.2.2008 17:37

Dally

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: More of Kal's fantasies

"Nanotechnology is being used now to help eliminate terrorists. It is truly one of the last, and final frontiers where this war can be fought and still won. It is currently being deployed in Pakistan right now and Afghanistan, under my initiatives and in operations that I command."

0/0
20.2.2008 17:38

EnglishTeacher

Kal's Greatest Hits, Vol 11

http://data.zpravy.cz/expres/pdf/20071026.pdf)

0/0
8.2.2008 13:56

EnglishTeacher

Re: Kal's Greatest Hits, Vol 11

from the man who brought you fart/breast/penis/wee-wee jokes, we now have...jokes about poo-poo! What a debonnaire, sophisticated individual you are, Colonel.

0/0
8.2.2008 13:58

EnglishTeacher

Re: Re: Kal's Greatest Hits, Vol 11

...."there are so many great memories and experiences I have lived through in this flat that I’ll be vacating very shortly."

---How can you "vacate memories and experiences"?

0/0
8.2.2008 14:01





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