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A Guide to Safe FAXing

  9:28aktualizováno  9:28
In today’s complex world of so-called "bizness" - with every third person seemingly earning an MBA degree in order to get a decent paying job, it is more important now than ever to understand the complexities of what is called Safe FAX, or Safe FAXing.

How to practice safe FAX in today’s world? | foto: Profimedia.cz

popisekAngličtina na iDNES.cz
VŠECHNY LEKCE ZDE


Combined with today’s critical need of having to be "politically correct", the importance of good, clean, proper FAX etiquette is Expresially crucial. Here now is your Expres Guide to Safe FAX.

Q: Marriage and Safe FAX: Is it true that I have to be married in order to have safe FAX?

A: No, of course not! While things used to be different during the time of Copyism, that you had to be married in order to FAX with the blessings of the State; thankfully, those days were shredded many years ago.

While there is no question that married people do indeed FAX, there are still plenty of single people out there who also FAX - and enjoy it.

Q: Both of my parents have told me that when they were young, they never had any FAX. Instead, both of them had to walk five kilometers through the rain and snow, just to pass a simple note to each other.

A: Obviously, with today’s technology, FAXing each other has never been easier. However, as with everything, a person must be responsible.

Don’t just FAX to be FAXing.

Q: Is is true that if I FAX just myself, that I can go blind?

A: No, this is NOT true, and it was not even true under the times of either Copyism or Snotzism!

There is no medical evidence that a person has ever gone blind FAXing themselves.

This has even been confirmed recently after a detailed study of the American expat community here in Prague, who are known for FAXing themselves as many as three times above the statistical daily average compared to every other group.

It’s a control thing, although let us be perfectly clear: these expats do NOT like Copyism.

Q: If I just want a quick FAX, or have a FAX for a whole hour or night, is this even legal?

A: It all depends on where you decide to do your FAXing. The rules for FAXing are different throughout the EU.

In Amsterdam, you can FAX practically anything, anywhere, although we wouldn’t and do not, recommend it.

Here in Prague, we don’t know of any place where we can go have a good FAX, because we use email.

Q: Should a person always use a cover sheet whenever they are FAXing?

A: It’s always best to be safe when FAXing. If you really know who you are FAXing, then it is probably OK not to use a cover sheet.

Q: What happens if I accidentally FAX before I really wanted to, you know, prematurely?

A: Don’t worry, according to medical science, it just means that you are normal! There is nothing wrong with being excited over FAXing someone.

Remember, this technology was not invented to bore people.

If you find out that you have accidentally FAXed prematurely, don’t worry! Most people certainly won’t mind if you go ahead and FAX them again.

REAL Excuses for Missing Class

The following are real excuses written by parents and relatives to try and "excuse" their kids for missing their classes. Try and see if you can find which excuse(s) contain bad English.

1. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
2. My son is under the doctor’s care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him.
3. Please excuse Ray from school. He has very loose vowels.
4. Diana was absent for five days from school because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and an upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, had a fever and sore throat. Her brother also had a fever. There must be some flu going around, her father got very hot last night.
5. Please excuse Peter for not being in class. He was sick and I had him shot.


Key Article Words in English

enough faith = dostatek víry
undeniably = nesporný
it is all set = vše je připraveno
grow over time = růst postupem času
eventually = konečně
freely enjoy = volně užívat
decent paying job = dobře placené místo
crucial = klíčový
used to be different = bývat odlišný
gone blind = oslepnout
probably = pravděpodobně
prematurely = předčasně
bore = nudit
teeth = zuby
physical education = tělesná aktivita
vowels = bowels = útroby
sore throat = bolení v krku
headache = bolest hlavy
upset stomach = zkažený žaludek
some flu going around = nějaká chřipka řádí



Angličtina vychází od pondělí do pátku.

Najdete ji také v bezplatném deníku Metropolitní expres.
Kalovi pište na adresu: kal.korff@expresdenik.cz


Autor: , METRO






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